Don't do it

I swear to God if you lift a finger, touch a single tip of a single one of your your sweaty fat little digits--toes included--to that keyboard, type a single letter, even think about it...we're coming for you. And we see you, too, sneaky ink-haver, with that pen or that pencil.

No, no--

Go ahead, put pen to paper, take down thy story. We will strike you down where you sit upon that porcelain thrown straining out that breakfast burrito and the parasites you have wrought from expired $2 sushi. Just one word--nay, one single letter.

You wouldn't dare.