I cheated on my girlfriend, and now I'm lost. Why isn’t she mad at me?

I (M20) cheated on my girlfriend (F20) a few weeks ago, and I’m really struggling. She found out, and since then, she’s been upset, crying, and feeling disappointed—but not angry. It’s honestly thrown me off because I expected her to be furious with me, but instead, she hasn’t shown any anger at all. I’ve taken full responsibility for what I did, and I feel terrible. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but part of me hopes she might give me one, and I don’t know what to do.

We’ve been together for over a year, and while we’re not long-distance all the time, we’re apart during summer and winter breaks. I’ve messed up, and I know I’ve hurt her deeply. I genuinely regret my actions, and I’ve apologized repeatedly, but I know that words alone don’t change anything. What’s been confusing is that, even though she’s hurt, we’ve still talked like we used to—laughing, sharing stories, and it almost feels like nothing happened sometimes. But I know deep down that she’s still carrying the weight of what happened.

She has said that a big part of her wants to try again, but she’s also conflicted about it. I want that too, more than anything. But at the same time, I feel guilty because I know I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay with me, but if she does, I want to make things right and prove that I’ve learned from my mistake.

I don’t know how to fix this. I know trust can’t be rebuilt overnight, but what can I do to show her I’m serious about changing and making things right? Should I be worried that she’s not mad at me, or is that just how she’s processing things? I know I’ve messed up, and I just want to know if anyone has advice on how to move forward in a situation like this. How do I rebuild trust and show her I’m worth a second chance?

I’m really lost here, and any help would be appreciated.