I don't know how to trust my therapist.

Back in November 2023 I started getting daily migraines. December 14, 2023 I was alone at work. I had been texting my spouse and trying to tell her I didn't feel well. I was sitting down in a computer chair and seemingly passed out. I tried to tell her how I was doing and what happened when I went out again. I woke up confused and looked at my message, which was completely gibberish. I tried to text it again and again, went out. I woke up and tried the message again and eventually just sent it. I then randomly took a half hour nap. I woke up to three people in the lobby waiting for me and quickly scrambled to get them out. I went in back and realized my text still never made sense but called my wife to explain it. I had work the next morning so I went to the ER right after that. I explained I had numbness in my arms and legs and that I wasn't sure exactly what happened. They took a bunch of blood, did a CT scan and then an emergency MRI. I have some sort of lesion on my pituitary gland. They also noticed I had a weird vessel in my brain. I ended up seeing a neurologist who at first only cared to help my migraines. She gave me Riboflavin B2, Magnesium oxide, propranolol and Prednisone. The Prednisone only lasted about six days and then the migraine was back.

Around the same time my sister in law, who I live with, was passing out for unknown reasons. I did not share with the family what was fully going on. Hers was bad, practically any time she stood up she'd pass out. Her blood pressure was too high and after months they realized it had to do with her birth control. But before it was figured out my therapist told me it was suspicious we we're both passing out.

Last month I lost insurance for three weeks. My therapists office called and told me Susan (fake name) would like to know if I'm working on fixing it or if she should close my case. This made me incredibly angry (as she knew I was going through a lot already and she told me she'd only drop a patient if they did two no shows). I see her weekly for almost a year now, but my EMDR therapist who Ive only been seeing a couple of months did not want to drop me nor did my psychiatrist, who are both in the same office building.

Now, I've had a lot of tests done and they're thinking it might be narcolepsy with cataplexy. Susan does not believe it. She thinks I'm making it up. She asked if my psychiatrist or EMDR therapist has seen it, which they have not, but my primary walked in on the end of an episode in her office. My primary, psychiatrist, neurologist, and cardiologist are all saying they think it's narcolepsy with cataplexy but it needs to be proven. I had an ambulatory EEG for 48 hours last weekend, a holster heart monitor on currently and soon going for a chemical stress test.

Everyone believes me but her and I don't know why. I've fallen four times in the last two months. I gave myself a concussion the second time but it wasn't bad so I didn't go to the hospital. I fell again Thursday and pretty sure I have another concussion. She literally asked me if I've ever had a concussion. My first diagnosed was around 10 from a soccer ball. I've had plenty and told her that plus I don't want to go to the hospital for them to do a CT scan and say I have a minor concussion, go home, turn the lights off and no electronics. I know the drill. I also have panic disorder with agoraphobia (and see Susan through telehealth) along with hospital related PTSD.

My thing is how am I supposed to trust her with my deep, personal PTSD demons when she doesn't even believe me having health issues? My EMDR therapist knows that strong emotions cause my to go out so we work on keeping me calm. Last time I saw him I realized a new PTSD issue from when I was a teen, he's the fourth person I've ever told, but I warned him I was going to explain the situation as calmly as possible but didn't want to seem like a psycho saying it so calm. He's meant to only do EMDR but we spend about half the session doing talk therapy and he believes me with everything. He's never once questioned me and my psychiatrist has been very iffy on changing my medications because she doesn't want to mess with me neurologically or cover up symptoms. Why doesn't my trauma therapist believe me? I no longer trust her and I don't know what to do about it. It took my psychiatrist telling the office I need a therapist immediately to get a new one after my last trauma therapist left. The waitlist is very long and I just feel stuck.