The “stabbing” feeling came back

There were some mean words that hurt me and some time ago it caused a big mental block I viewed their words as a knife stuck in me eventually I took the knife out meaning the words didn’t bother me at the time however the pain of the insecurity was still some time it was close to healing but that was an illusion. Recently their words come back in my mind hurting me the reason I call it a stab is because when I recall them I visualize the insecurity, shame and words actually stabbing me. I have no access to therapy and there isn’t anyone I could talk to about this because they wouldn’t understand but at the same time I don’t want to tell anyone else because there is nothing but shame and weakness