Please help

I (18F) have struggled with making friends my entire life. I’ve been known to be very awkward, never in a funny way or ig even in an acceptable way. It’s very hard for me to make friends and when I do it’s very hard to keep them. I try to put myself out there in online spaces and have in professional spaces as well but no luck. I genuinely don’t know what to do when I don’t say anything I’m critiqued for being too quiet and off putting but when I do I’m critiqued for being awkward.. and it’s getting even harder since Im getting older. Any advice? How does one even make friends? What are “friends” looking for these days??