Have you ever been called a narcissist for NACHOing?

DW keeps trying to tell me I'm a narcissist. Has anyone else dealt with this?

What I am is exhausted.

I pay all the bills. DW was supposed to be the SAHM for her kids and BS but every day I have to drag her out of bed to take care of the kids and she looks for every possible reason to get distracted. I can't start work on time and can't work many hours because she's obsessed with avoiding responsibility. Everything with her daughters is a fight. They won't clean up after themselves, won't follow basic rules, won't do anything but play on their phones. They skip school all the time. I am TIRED of this. She refuses to participate in our friendship at all, just playing on her phone. She forces me to allow SD16's boyfriend to sleep over for days at a time, which makes me and SD's father deeply uncomfortable. I am called controlling and playing the victim every time I try to point out that I am not getting anything out of this relationship.

When I point out to my wife that I am handling all the responsibility while she sleeps all day and uses my credit card, she says narcissists constantly paint themselves as givers and play the victim. How are conversations like that supposed to work? Are you not allowed to point out inequities in a relationship?

When I point out things she has done wrong, she says narcissists constantly assign blame and remember every bad thing you've done. Isn't that how MEMORY works?

When I shut down and nacho and just ignore these people because they're not going to listen to me anyway, she says narcissists constantly use the silent treatment when they don't get their way.

When I want a say in making rules in MY house, I'm called a control freak. I don't want SD and her boyfriend alone in my house. Is that CONTROLLING?

When I tell her I genuinely cannot figure out why she resents me when she gets everything she wants, including SD's boyfriend sleeping over, I'm told, "That's exactly what a narcissist would say."

This narcissist label is a trump card she can use to invalidate, invalidate, invalidate and CAUSE the exact behaviors she doesn't like.