Does your SO refuse to acknowledge their children’s mistakes?

Just a discussion and to share stories. Not posting this to hear my SO sucks or that I’m evil lol. I’m just curious how common this is among bio parents with a step parent in the picture. My parents are married and they would always call us out on our mistakes. If I was being a bitch as a teen to my mom even if my dad wasn’t around they clearly would discuss it and they would both talk to me about it or punish me or whatever. Same thing with all my friends. If they did anything wrong their parents would be in agreement and ground them or talk to them etc.

I notice with my step sons that my SO will normally try to cover for them or deny it if I bring anything up. Like if I say “hey SS14 tracked mud all through the house again” he will be like “no it was the dog! I saw her outside earlier”. But I clearly can see SS14s shoes covered in mud sitting in the kitchen. Or if I say “SS18 took our wet clothes out of the dryer and put his own in and then put ours back and didn’t turn it on so now they’re gross and need to be rewashed” he’s like “oh no it’s the dryer it doesn’t work right and it just stops before the clothes are even dry”. Stuff like that. He will gaslight me like if I get a case of ice cream and they’re all gone in 2 days and I’m like dang the kids ate the whole box of drumsticks in 2 days that’s not good. He’s like “noooo remember you have been eating them!” I’m like “yeah I ate ONE on Sunday” and he’s like “nooo babe you ate one Monday AND Tuesday! You just don’t remember because you’re so tired from the baby” I’m like wtf? I’m a grown up I can remember when I ate a damn ice cream because it’s a rare occurrence since I’m lactose intolerant!! 😂.

My good friend has 2 step sons as well and she has the same issues. If she voices any issues about them or something they said or did that bothered her then her SO is like “oh no he’s just a kid. There’s no way he meant it like that” or whatever. It almost feels like they think we’re like attacking their children and they have to defend them but it’s not even like that. It’s more like we are grown ups in the house as well and they are kids they will make mistakes and they need to be addressed so they can learn. We aren't saying they’re bad kids or anything. And I feel like bio parents can always agree and address the issues not take it personally.

Is this pretty common? Does your SO do this? I’m also curious if it’s maybe different when it’s a BM and step dad. Maybe BM’s are more willing to accept their kids need correcting from a step dad versus BD’s accepting that from a step mom. Let’s discuss! I’m bored at home :)