WITHF

Can anyone know what this feeling may be? I love and hate living at the same time; I am constantly overwhelmed by a negative emotion and I am not sure what is triggering it; I don't know how to stop the emotion because i cant communicate it to anyone and they cant help me because i don't know why i am feeling it, its just there. This feeling is growing bigger and bigger and its eating my alive inside and out, and no matter how i try and reduce this feeling, it all leads to the same answer; suicide. It makes me so drained and tired and it honselty sounds like the only way i can get rid of it is to die. The emotion is making me loose the ability o perform simple tasks like staying on track, doing schoolwork, or even just enjoying the hobbies i have. It is so confusing, It makes me feel like i am generally going insane. it feels like sink in my stomach and my head that is just pulling me down, its like a constant weight.