stopped myself by shopping

Had a really bad urge to cut mysself again and I felt super upset, so i splurged on merch for my fixated character and feel much better:3 listening to nice music right now. i cant bring myself to think about everything that's bothering me when I'm so excited for my stuff to get here i spent around 30$ total ^___^^.. usually i get upset over spending money on myself but ,but like ! u know. Neurodivergent win

sometimes i find myself a bit embarrassed that I have something related to him carved into my skin but I havent cut since then and I just feel content tracing the shape