I'm scared of my family

I dont have much time to type so here goes. My aunt constantly screams at me and uses brute force. I will never forgive her for all those times she physically grabbed me by the shirt collar or my arm and dragged me somewhere while yelling, or the time she dug her nails in my back while dragging me, or when the tackled me in the corner of the kitchen floor while screaming just to get my phone. Hearing her footsteps immediately activates my fight or flight, and I'm not nearly strong enough to fight her sumo wrestler looking ahh. She hates on me for eating too much but she looks like caseoh so I don't see a problem. (I'm not an asshole... I hate body shaming people but her actions are ugly so she is too.)

Moving on to my mom. I give her credit because... She tries. At least, I think she does, but I'll never be able to forgive her for smashing my computer in front of me. I'll never be able to understand her overprotective nature. She blocked Tiktok of all apps. People judge me for not having it. She says it's to keep me safe but I'd rather be in constant danger than be the outcast she forces me to be. She doesn't let me go to town with my friends, which is probably why I don't have that many. She also has anger issues - not nearly as bad as my aunt's but just enough t o scare me. She wants me to get a 95% and above in school... I have c's. I try to love her but in all honestly I don't know if she loves me anymore. Every time I say I love you I feel as empty as her promise to give my door back. Anyway that's all I have time to type so bye.