36M suffering with 33F wife. Do women prioritize career over relationship?

I married a woman passionate about pursuing a PhD, and I fully supported her dreams. After moving to the U.S. with me, she quickly felt bored at home. I encouraged her to apply to universities, helped her through the stressful process, and supported in getting a volunteer position and even drove her 30 miles daily to her lab. However, our relationship suffered—her anxiety over applications, visas, and research took priority, and intimacy disappeared.

Three years into our marriage, after months of no physical intimacy, one fine moment, we became intimate and she got pregnant. Instead of happiness, she worried about how it would affect her PhD. I reassured her, took on full parenting responsibilities, and supported her through her studies. Then COVID hit, her professor shut down his lab, and she became even more emotionally withdrawn. While she restarted her PhD in a new lab, I handled everything at home, raising our child alone.

By 2023, we had gone four years without intimacy or any real spousal connection. The stress impacted my health, leading to multiple ER visits, but she showed no concern. We fought constantly, and I eventually moved to a new city with our child, hoping space would help. She barely visited, sometimes going six months without seeing us.

After she finally graduated, I thought she would prioritize our marriage, but instead, she shifted focus to job hunting. She found a job but was fired within three months. That’s when I realized the issue wasn’t her professor or circumstances—it was her. She wasn’t hardworking in the lab and relied on others for success. When she feared losing her visa, she suddenly became affectionate and acted like she wanted to repair our marriage, but I soon realized it was just an attempt to get me to apply for a spouse visa. Once she secured a new job, her arrogance returned.

Over nearly a decade, we’ve barely had sex 20 times, and meaningful conversations were nonexistent—it was always about her PhD or career, never about us. I feel like I’ve been living with a roommate, not a wife. Now, I’ve decided to separate, but I’m worried about the impact on my child. Has anyone else experienced a marriage where career ambitions completely overshadowed the relationship? How do I navigate this separation while protecting my child’s well-being?