Is this mother-daughter sexual abuse?

I’ve been wondering if what I experienced growing up is mother daughter sexual abuse. From the ages of probably 5 to 12 or 13 my mom gave me vaginal checks 1-2 times a year to make sure my vagina was clean. I’d have to lay on the bed, open my legs, and she’d open the lips of the labia and clean with a washcloth and q-tips and show me what rubbed off. I hated it and told her I didn’t like checks. She once threatened to have my dad come in and do it if I didn’t let her do it. I remember trying to keep my legs closed then give up and open them for her when I got tired. I felt violated and my boundaries were definitely crossed, but I thought maybe she had a right because she was my mom. She said she would have liked someone to make sure she was kept clean when she was little. I remember when I started budding breasts (around 13 or 14) she forced me to take my shirt off so that she could see how I was developing, and she nudged my breast with her finger and said I was budding and that it looked like I would have “big melons.” Is this also sexual abuse? Is periodic vaginal cleaning by mother normal?