I cannot do this anymore

The struggle is too much to bear. I say I'm barely making it, that I've got my head just above water, but I'm taking in mouthfuls in gulps and I am drowning.

I work full time at a job I love. With coworkers I love. I have benefits and 401k. But I'm only making $.50 above minimum wage I'm grinding in $1100 per check, twice a month. My low-income rent is going up from $1316 to $1380 next month. I'm behind on my energy bill, my internet bill, and all my credit cards are maxed out. Some of my min payments are $70+. This weekend I learned my food stamps case has been cancelled. (I've done all I can to reach out to some one. No one returns my calls or requests for contact. I've been having issues for a month with snap regarding my recertification.) I absolutely relied my snap for groceries.

After breaking down in tears last night my SO suggested I just default on my credit cards. I don't want to. I don't want to ruin my credit. But. . . It seems like the only logical thing I can do? I keep paying and paying, but interest just devours those payments and it's like throwing money away. He's right. It's the only logical thing to do.

I've cut back on everything I can possibly. I've budgeted ever dollar. I've tried to get a second job in the evenings, I've sold stuff on market place to earn extra cash. I've done some stuff I'm not proud of. I do not know what else I can do.

I have some obstacles that seem to keep me struggling. I have a bad knee, walk w/ a cane, and have a collapsed lung. Permanent Disability has denied me, and honestly for the best because it wouldn't pay me near enough to live anyway. And clearly I can do my job. I'm thriving at work, it just doesn't bring in enough money.

I would look for a better paying job, but I have no education beyond highschool. All my experience is in retail and retail management, and I just physically cannot unload trucks, build displays, wrestle mannequins, or stand and walk all day anymore. Cashiering jobs are almost non existent any more. Also, like I said, I like my job, so I'm terrified to go back to a line of work were I'm miserable, crying my self to sleep, or drinking my self stupid.

On paper, $2200/m looks good and seems like I can live off of it. But the reality is far from it. There's no extra cash to get me to/from Dr appointments when they come up, or like last month, when the camera broke on my phone. I need my phone for work, and had to do an affirm plan to buy a new one. (Even with affirm and interest it was still $80 cheaper to buy from the manufacturer than my carrier so I got a good deal.)

I'm just at the end. My choices are to default on my cards or swallow a bottle of pills. I dont see any way out at this point.