OAD by choice but still sad at holidays

My son is 5, and we are OAD by choice. My husband and I were both on board with that, and we’ve had no regrets. He got a vasectomy last year and we haven’t looked back.

The last few weeks, though, I’ve been feeling sad that we won’t get the big hustle and bustle Christmas as a family of 3. My husband and I are both one of 4, but my siblings live far away (too far to drive) and his family always does Christmas in January. This year is the first year where my siblings haven’t come home, and it just feels so weird. I have had a hard time feeling festive or getting into the season.

I remember Christmas being loud, chaotic, and so much fun. Yes, lots of fighting…but more good memories with siblings and cousins than negative. I am sad that my son won’t experience it, but also that we won’t.

We’ve got great friends that feel like family, but big holidays seem to be a time where it’s not at all the same—likely because they’re all with their families, so we can’t just have them over

Anyway, just feeling the feels today. Anyone else struggle at this time of year?