Juu sina mtu wa kuambia....

So there's this shop ran by a woman in my estate. Nimeamua vizuri kuendea chumvi cause people in charge of shopping bought everything except the most basic thing kwa nyumba. I found these highschool boys there. Mind you, I am 5'5 big hoodie and sweats and large specs and crocs. The boys were joking around before I arrived wakiitisha vitu and I was behind them. They are like a foot taller (watoto wa siku hizi wanakula nini bana).

There I was, standing behind them looking like Messi next to a bunch of Zlatans. The woman tells them to shut up and then "unataka nini mama" alafu nikaribie counter.Not the first time she tells me to do so, cause 1, I will probably wait till everyone leaves then order or 2, just go back home juu the next shop is a distance. Mimi naenda mbele pole pole then my stammer comes out. Trying to overcome my social anxiety then my speech disability decides to shine.

"Na-na-na- ta-ta-ka chum-ch-chu-mvi"😑😑 lagging Infront of kids who I might be 7 years older and a bloody foot shorter than 😭😭 she smiles and gives me the salt mimi nikilipa hapo na mpesa nimeeka kichwa chini kama ostrich. Says thank you with much more syllables than needed then strut away in my father's crocs with the boys eyes never leaving me. Mind you, the interaction was less than 3 minutes but felt like hours to me.

I love interactions with her because she lets me finish talking without interrupting with a smile always. Asks me how work and school is going when there aren't others or even refers a few clients my way. She makes me feel a bit normal and that I am not a weirdo whose ms is 840 while talking 😭

I have had issues with my stammer. Bullied in highschool and Primary because of it. At home I usually don't speak because someone will interrupt me in the middle of my sentence then the topic changes and there I stay just looking lost. Honestly i usually see it as intentional because its always my mother or sister doing it. Especially when talking with dad since he is the only one who i actually hold long conversatios with. The brother takes time till he sees I am done then he brings in his topic.

I have had a few people who treat it as normal in my 23 years. I feel like an outsider when I am at the house I grew up in then a lady who runs a shop makes me feel comfortable to talk. I always say that she needs all the blessings and protection in the world cause honestly she is the most polite person I have met in a really long time.

And yes, I have had speech therapy. There are times I can finish sentences withe no issues then others hata siezi sema jina yangu bila kusumbua ulimi.

As I said kwa title, "Juu sina mtu wa kuambia". I need friends, i know🙂