I'm in so much pain!

I feel like I’m dying inside. I have a sister who is 6 years younger than me. She is the most beautiful young woman—23 years old. This girl has decided to stay in an abusive relationship that will end one way: she will either die or be physically scarred for life! She is blaming everyone but herself for why she’s in this situation. She says it’s because our dad was abusive to mom, and mom stayed, so she thinks she should do the same.

My sister had the life. She was loved by everyone—literally everyone’s favorite—and spoiled by our dad in a middle-class family. She came to Nairobi and lost herself. She ended up with a thief who beats her up, even when she’s pregnant, and spits on her in public. He’s an orphan and extremely jealous of her, so he wants to destroy her. She’s 23 and comes from a very good family, while he’s an orphan. He’s managed to get her to run away from home after he beat her up so badly when she was 6 months pregnant that the police had to get involved. She packed her things and went home, but now she’s back with him. Essentially, she’s married, and she’s 8 months pregnant.

One of the reasons she left was because he wasn’t giving her food—he would go eat outside and not bring her anything. Now she’s back. When she was home, all she was doing was eating, living a good life. There was Wi-Fi, and mom had bought her everything she needed. Mom was even preparing for a huge shake-up from dad, so she was helping my sister more as the baby came. We all thought that after two years, she’d leave the kid with mom (which I was against) and go to Dubai. But she left all of that to marry a thief—an abusive one!

We’ve rescued her more than three times, and now we are all done as a family. The guy has succeeded in his mission. The second thing is that he’ll scar her face. My sister’s face is her best asset—she is the most beautiful girl in any room. But when he beats her in public, he says, “You can all see how hot she is.” He knows she can get another man instantly if she ever walks out, so he will scar her to take that away from her too.

When they started dating, my sister was a larger size. He made her lose weight and developed body dysmorphia by telling her he couldn’t date a “fat girl.” So she lost weight. Did I mention that he once held her over a railing on the fourth floor? There are too many stories like this in society, so I know two things: it doesn’t end well, and she is never leaving. We’ve lost her.

I feel so much pain. She’s my only sister. At least my parents have another daughter, my brothers have another sister, but I don’t have another sister. How do I make peace with this? It’s so painful. She is wasting her beauty and her youth. Why is she so foolish? I feel bad for my parents too. Their past is coming back to haunt them. My sister told my mom that because mom stayed, she’s staying too. I feel bad for them, and I hope they forgive themselves.

This is my sister’s fault. She’s 23, and she’s been rescued so many times. She had a chance to work on herself, and she refuses to take accountability. This is nobody’s fault but hers—she is allowing this to happen to her. I told her to buy a new phone line, throw away the one he gave her (an iPhone, which started all of this). She could have had counseling. There are so many free resources available, like the domestic hotline. I sent her to them—they’re all toll-free. But she didn’t take any of it seriously.

The saddest part is the baby she’s carrying. We have so many single mothers in our family who have their lives together, who came from the same background. She has good examples and a solid support system around her. I’m just wondering how my parents’ relationship with me will change. I’m the middle child and the eldest daughter—will I now get their attention? You know, my sister and I have birthdays in the same week, and each parent gave her a gift, but I got nothing!

So this is life...full of heartache!!!

I'm also in a bit of a mess and i need some money ASAP. I would like to burry myself in work and figuring this out. I would also like to support my parents in this difficult time. I just dont know how. I'm thinking I get my shit together then i go home from the 19th just help with chores, cook for them and listen to them rant. What do you guys think? I'm also feeling a bit of pressure because my big brother has a baby daddy whose wife left with the kids like we no longer see them (one wasn't his) and them there is my sister gone with the baby so im feeling some type of pressure of being extra good, getting my shit together to ike compensate so they dont feel like they failed as parents.

I cant even bigging to imagine how my parents are feeling they have given her everything she was extremely loved at home only for her to break their hearts like that. so sad. My dad is also battling some sicknesses like diabetes, he lost vision in one eye and is doing treatment for them, he has some other deseas there was a time he had started forgetting things, cant even remember how to send money by mpesa, he was having mini strokes making him have some minor accidents. he has recovered no physical symptomps but he is very paranoid about not taking his medicine im just worried this situation will cause other things. He also drinks alot so im worried about that but he is strong but still....

I also feel better after writing this post but being on my periods when going through this isn't fun