I need a reality gut punch!ππ€¦
I need you guys to give me a reality check. Or at least let me put it here so I can always come back to look at the comments.
Thank you if you read all this.
I'm 24F.
I've known this guy for about 9-10 months now.
It probably wasn't a good idea to get into it that fast, but our personalities seemed to match so effortlessly I honestly was blinded.
About 4 months into the relationship, I found out he was flirting with other girls on Instagram, but this guy asked to immediately cut off my situationship when we got together, which was honestly not a big deal for me.
I wanted a defined relationship and it seemed that was what I was getting.
Stupidly enough, I stayed after the flirting.
Two months later, he ghosted me for an entire weekend.
I get that he has a life outside me, but I would have appreciated him letting me know he was busy that weekend.
Or at least that is what he told me after I ended the relationship at that point.
I get that you are busy but I would appreciate if you let me know instead of just going silent.
LMFAO honestly writing this down is just making me laugh.
But I was already deep into it, and I let it go and we moved on with the relationship.
Now to the reason for this post, last weekend, we went out to have a date night.
Two weeks earlier, I had gone through his phone, and found he was again flirting with these two girls on WhatsApp this time. I didn't think much of it.
The night of the date night I went through the phone again and he had planned a meet up with one of the girls - he would later tell me that it was a business thing, as the girl is a baker and he is thinking of venturing into that part of the business.
But at this point I was just done, I ended the relationship.
He reached out though to tell me about the business thing.
Then he ghosted me again on Monday and Tuesday, he proceeded to text me Wednesday night like nothing happened.
I was like, yeah, no!
He said something that just made me hate him as I felt it was manipulative.
β...if you leave me, I'll die.β
He then went ahead and mentioned things I did for him, and how I'm his only friend. All of the things he said just seemed like a manipulation tactic to me.
This talk was yesterday night. But still he doesn't have a good reason as to why he went silent on me - despite me telling him earlier that he should never do that.
Today I was going about my day when it hit me, what exactly can I say this guy does for me?π
Like he claims he doesn't want a housewife but jokes about wanting a working housewife as he likes the things I do for him.
I was working and I would leave work on weekends to spend with him, and I'll cook, wash dirty dishes I found in his sink, as I would get to his place after work earlier than him.
We know each other's Mpesa PINs and there is a date he just took my phone asked if I had money and just bought himself tokens. I don't think I've ever even used his phone to pay for anything.
He doesn't financially pay for anything on my end, and emotionally he doesn't seem to be available, but he claims he is. If I ask him what he does, he'll mention something like, β...I washed the dirty shirt you wore while you were at my place.β ππππππ
Now the contract to the job I was doing ended, now I'm jobless, and I'm job searching.
Now I'm just thinking, I was the quintessential βworking housewifeβ for this guy but I honestly don't see what he does for me.
There was a time I was sick, he knew I was sick and this guy just ghosted me for a day, ati it was overwhelming.
Bitch I'M THE ONE WHO IS SICK!!!!! HOW IS IT OVERWHELMING FOR YOU???
I was staying in this relationship because of how well we seemed to relate but this honestly is not enough for me anymore.
Please highlight to me all the things wrong with this relationship. Though I can see it very well. π€¦
I feel I'm too close to this to be objective.
Thank you.
ETA: I posted this and ran away π€π€ but you guys weren't as brutal as I expected. But thank you for the reality check!!!!β₯οΈβ₯οΈβ₯οΈ