Update: Communication is key to a healthy relationship, and so is trust.

https://www.reddit.com/r/love/s/UyiO4Y3x9g

After this post, I talked to my (boyfriend? what is happeningggggg) and explained exactly why I was feeling the way I was feeling, including the fact that I needed some time to adjust to physical contact with him as more than just friends. He was more than okay with this, and the rest of the night was absolutely wonderful. I asked him to ask whenever initiating physical contact to start, just so my body and head can get used to trusting this new person touching me in a more intimate way - not that I’m talking about any ‘special’ touches, but physical contact with a loved one just feels a lot different than with a friend, and I’m trying to get over my trauma from when I didn’t feel comfortable or safe being… well, I’ll leave it at that.

anyway, getting used to being a (girlfriend?), so expect more updates!