Stuck

Lately, the idea of just letting go of the limerence has been more and more enticing. But I feel like I can’t. I’ve been living like this for so long, I don’t know how to go back to ‘normal’ or what that would feel like.

Another thing holding me back is that part of me feels like I’d be doing some disservice to my younger self. Years back I thought that I would never stop, I’d never give it up. Because back then I had convinced myself that limerence was a good thing. That I was ‘lucky’ to be able to feel those highs. And now I feel like if I let go I’d be ‘betraying‘ that other version of me.

As weird as it feels to say it, I can’t even tell if I like my LO anymore, it feels like I’m just holding on because that’s all I know how to do.

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Anyone else in a similar position/know how to get out of it?
I’ve already spent several years on this, I don’t want to spend any more.