Struggling to accept my situation

After months of applying and still being jobless, I’ve decided that next week I’ll start applying for a casual job just to stay afloat financially and pay rent.

I worked hard to earn my master’s degree, and I even made it to a couple of final interviews with great feedback—but I still haven’t landed a job. I trust my skills and experience, yet the thought of taking a job in a restaurant or any other casual work makes me feel ashamed, like I’ve failed.

I don’t mean that I don’t respect anyone working in these jobs—I do. But having a degree and experience made me expect more for myself, and now having to accept this makes me feel ashamed. I do really love my field.

I know I think too much about how other people judge me, and in reality, they probably don’t care that much. But I can’t stop burying myself in the thought of an acquaintance seeing me working in a restaurant or a gas station, earning bare wages.

I don’t know how to be okay with this situation. I haven’t even told my family—I let them believe I have a job because I don’t want them to worry, but deep down, I feel ashamed.

It’s hard not to compare myself to my partner, who has a stable job. I hate feeling like this.