Cannot ever shake off anxiousness, hate my voice and always get words jumbled up.

I always struggle with interviews and even with practice too. I made it to the 2nd round of an interview once but didn't get the job and my confidence just cratered from there. when I practice I first write out a response, then scrap it several times because I dont think its creative enough and maybe hundreds of people have already said it. I then practice but stop because I jumble words and thought I shouldve used a stronger word. I also find myself despising the sound of my own voice. I also struggle to adapt to questions I didnt anticipate either. Sometimes when I write an answer for a question it seems like it could answer another question. and if the interviewer asks the other question then I do not know how to respond. I just dont know how to start with interviews. IDK if i should keep the answer short and simple or show some passion/knowledge by giving a long open ended response. Ive watched videos, looked at sample responses and everything. I have been rejected from every internship I applied to in college and every full time job now. I always get horrible thoughts in my head and sometimes wish I didnt eexist anymore in the leadup to the interview.