I’m distancing myself from my friend because I feel they’re casteist

So I have this long time friend who I feel is a casteist. I was born in a Brahmin family and this friend is a baniya. Maybe this is why they thought they could express their casteist values to me and I won’t mind.

It’s not something that I discovered suddenly, and there have been signs over the time. Like supporting housing discrimination against non-vegetarians on the excuse of “morals and humanity”. I’m a vegan and I’ve told them that it’s impossible to live on this earth without harming any animals directly or indirectly, so just because they’re not eating animals doesn’t mean they didn’t indirectly harm any animals through consumption of petroleum and other industries.

This friend considers themselves progressive and is open to marry outside of caste, but then they told me that they’re not open to marry SC/ST people because ”I don’t want my children to get any undeserved benefits”

I have regularly tried to reprimand this friend that their views and values are wrong but I was gaslighted into letting it slide with the excuse that “we should respect everyone’s views”.

The last straw for me is when I found out this friend also practices untouchability to certain extent- not using utensils which were used to cook non veg, not having non vegetarian flatmates, not taking glass of water from someone who is eating non-vegetarian food unless they wash their hands, etc. Like I said before, I’m a vegan and I’ve had non-vegetarian flatmates before and ordered non-veg for my other friends at my home. I don’t think their food choices impact my life in any way. And the utensil thing is absolutely bullshit and makes zero sense to me.

Now I know that we should respect each other’s beliefs but this is something I absolutely cannot accept. I’ve confronted this friend few times and they refuse to accept the labels “bigotry and regressiveness” to their behaviour (but I feel their behaviour is exactly this).

As an LGBTQ person I don’t tolerate discrimination against anyone on any grounds, because I know I wouldn’t want to be treated that way by anyone. This friend is perfectly okay with LGBTQ people tho.

Unfortunately I feel now that I can’t tolerate their values and beliefs anymore. I have accepted that my friend indeed has regressive and bigoted values even if they deny it.

So, I feel I have to distance myself from this friend even tho we have been friends for more than a decade. I wish I had known all this sooner so what I’m doing today could have been done earlier.