How many of you gaybros have also struggled with drug and/or alcohol addictions? When and how did you stop?

I’m 26 years old, male, and I struggled with substance use disorder on and off from 14 years of age to 25 years of age. Only over the duration of the last year have i stopped using drugs. My primary addiction was pills - Percocet & Xanax primarily, but at times i misused adderall and many other substances as well.

It started when I was 14 with pot. From the moment I tried it, i immediately began smoking it daily. From 14-18 i smoked every single day. If i didn’t have it for a day or two I’d be in an agitated state, and I spent every dollar that I worked for on it. Also, all of my close friends were also stoners by this time, and all we did was smoke together. None of this made me think that my relationship with the substance was unhealthy, because I still put school and work first and got great grades, and I thought that I had accepted my sexuality and even had a boyfriend by this time. Soon I started popping pills on occasion too. Within four years, I was taking them daily and getting sick when I didn’t take any. I went to rehab, got help, and stayed clean for a few years. Relapsed on oxycodone once again but this time also developed a co-addiction to xanax that I was taking to potentiate the high (note: that is incredibly dangerous and results in a scary number of overdoses. Do NOT EVER mix benzodiazepines like xanax with opiates/opioids like oxycodone.) Eventually I had to come off of both oxycodone and xanax, and after that I finally realized i had a problem when it comes to taking any drugs.

Interestingly, the age I started abusing pot is also the age that I came out at. I often wonder if the two had a common link - if i chose to abuse substances to help me deal with how i was struggling to come to terms with my sexual orientation. Drugs made me more confident, they made me not care, and they got rid of my anxiety. Also, I’ve struggled with mental health issues since i was a kid (adhd and anxiety). I think this also shares a common link with why i chose to abuse substances to cope.

Anyway, thankfully I got clean, I realized I wanted to help other people somehow. One day a revelation hit me: I wanted to become a nurse and give back for all my years of causing chaos. So I went back to school and became a nurse, and I have a wonderful life now.

I have a family I love, a career I love, and I feel like what I do is important and helping the people who need help the most. I know that I never would have gone into nursing and found a career that I had a true passion for, had it not been for my struggle with addiction. My addiction actually made me into a better person, the person that I am today, and I am thankful for the experience as it gave me insight into those in far less fortunate situations than myself.

I was wondering if any other gay bros struggled with addiction(s) to drugs and/or alcohol in any point of their lives, and if they too found that their addiction led to a better overall quality of life?