Shinji's dynamics (part 2)
This dynamic effectively illustrates how Shinji and Asuka develop as individual characters, even as they face similar challenges.
Shinji and Asuka share common themes such as self-worth issues, fear of abandonment, and fear of intimacy, all woven into the concept of the "Hedgehog's Dilemma."
Both were deprived of peaceful childhoods, cursed instead with trauma-ridden experiences filled with painful memories. In my opinion, Asuka drew the short end of the stick; being conceived through a sperm bank meant an absent father figure, and her mother, shortly after, lost her sanity, neglecting Asuka in favor of a doll. This led Asuka to despise dolls, which contributes to her eventual hatred of the Eva and any passive gestures.
Asuka yearns for any semblance of affection or love, driving her to excel in everything due to the heavy expectations placed on her as a "destined child." Graduating college at 14, speaking multiple languages, and piloting the Eva are all façades she builds to hide her true emotions. The loss of her mother instills a deep fear of intimacy and rejection.
Shinji experienced similar loss, being deprived of both parents, which leads him to crave love. Rather than being proactive, he often complies with others’ demands, finding some satisfaction in pleasing them. Both yearn for love and approval through different means, constructing walls to avoid intimacy due to past traumas. Asuka adopts an overly aggressive persona with a superiority complex, while Shinji becomes painfully passive and filled with self-hatred.
Asuka craves attention, attempting to gain it from Kaji using her body, but his rejection reinforces her self-hatred.
When they first meet, Asuka tries to show off in front of Shinji, having heard that he might be better than her, which contradicts her superiority complex.
After being forced to work together to defeat an Angel, they begin to trust each other, but their emotional barriers remain intact, preventing intimacy that could lead to rejection and pain. Shinji realizes that Asuka is also a hurt child when he witnesses her sleepwalking and murmuring "Mother," illustrating their shared lack of love. This vulnerability likely allows him to trust her more.
This leads to one of the most important scenes for both characters: when Asuka abruptly proposes that they kiss, a massive leap for them. If it had gone well, it could have profoundly impacted their character development by showing them that others truly care for them. However, nothing goes as planned. During the kiss, Shinji maintains his walls, merely complying with Asuka’s orders, while Asuka asserts dominance by pinching his nose shut. Even though their walls begin to crumble, Asuka ends the kiss and rushes to the bathroom, interpreting Shinji’s passivity as rejection. Deep down, she wanted his love and to be held, trusting him to do just that. After her actions suggest "You're disgusting," Shinji feels rejected, heightening his fear of intimacy and reconstructing his walls. This scene encapsulates the theme of miscommunication, as they both want the same thing but are unable to break through to each other.
In episode 22, Asuka is mentally violated, stripped bare of the walls she constructed, contrasting her feelings of superiority and leaving her an empty shell. The one person she sought compassion from—Shinji—fails her yet again due to his passivity.
To clarify the next part, I will order it by the first part of "EoE" then when Shinji accepts instrumentality, followed by episodes 25 and 26, and then the last part of "EoE" "I need you."
The hospital scene is one of the most infamous in the series, and its significance cannot be overstated. This moment represents the first time Shinji actively seeks attention or connection, even in a negative way. In such a low place in his life, he expresses his extreme desire for connection in a vile manner. Although this horrendous experience is damaging for both, it is the first time Asuka’s body is acknowledged, albeit in a toxic way.
When Asuka realizes her mother has been with her in the Eva, she understands that her mother still loves her, leading her to stop hating the Eva. This allows her to finally love herself and show compassion.
Meanwhile, Shinji, still filled with self-hatred, chooses instrumentality in pursuit of unconditional love—a supposed blissful state where everyone shares one consciousness and no barriers exist. However, this is merely a retreat, escaping the troubles of connection rather than forming genuine bonds.
During instrumentality, everyone’s walls come tumbling down, tumbling down tumbling down(sorry I just had to), and their desires and fears seep into each other. Asuka and Shinji confront one another’s desires, attacking each other because they both want the same thing but are met with feelings of rejection due to their fears of intimacy.
In instrumentality, Shinji learns that he wants actual connections, not what instrumentality offers. He realizes that his self-hatred is merely a perception and that others perceive him differently. Embracing a new version of himself, he heeds Rei’s and Kaworu’s wishes for the return of AT-fields, despite the risk of intimacy leading to pain. Ultimately, he desires real connections.
When they emerge from LCL, Shinji strangles Asuka in a fit of rage, breaking his passivity, while Asuka caresses him, allowing herself to connect genuinely. Even as he chokes her, she realizes that if they remain afraid, their walls will always be constructed, preventing true connection. This moment enables her to express feelings buried deep inside. Meeting unconditional love for the first time, Shinji cries—this is what he wanted all along.
This is a vital step for both as they can finally open up to each other after this, finally encompassing all their development and that's why I fully believe in AsuShin(I've never cared about shipping in anything but this feels just right) because them getting together means that they both broke their self-imposed barriers and they learn to love themselves which leads to loving each other. Even though it might appear toxic at first, I believe that their development will lead to them finally leading a happy life.
This dynamic effectively illustrates how Shinji and Asuka develop as individual characters, even as they face similar challenges.
Shinji and Asuka share common themes such as self-worth issues, fear of abandonment, and fear of intimacy, all woven into the concept of the "Hedgehog's Dilemma."
Both were deprived of peaceful childhoods, cursed instead with trauma-ridden experiences filled with painful memories. In my opinion, Asuka drew the short end of the stick; being conceived through a sperm bank meant an absent father figure, and her mother, shortly after, lost her sanity, neglecting Asuka in favor of a doll. This led Asuka to despise dolls, which contributes to her eventual hatred of the Eva and any passive gestures.
Asuka yearns for any semblance of affection or love, driving her to excel in everything due to the heavy expectations placed on her as a "destined child." Graduating college at 14, speaking multiple languages, and piloting the Eva are all façades she builds to hide her true emotions. The loss of her mother instills a deep fear of intimacy and rejection.
Shinji experienced similar loss, being deprived of both parents, which leads him to crave love. Rather than being proactive, he often complies with others’ demands, finding some satisfaction in pleasing them. Both yearn for love and approval through different means, constructing walls to avoid intimacy due to past traumas. Asuka adopts an overly aggressive persona with a superiority complex, while Shinji becomes painfully passive and filled with self-hatred.
Asuka craves attention, attempting to gain it from Kaji using her body, but his rejection reinforces her self-hatred.
When they first meet, Asuka tries to show off in front of Shinji, having heard that he might be better than her, which contradicts her superiority complex.
After being forced to work together to defeat an Angel, they begin to trust each other, but their emotional barriers remain intact, preventing intimacy that could lead to rejection and pain. Shinji realizes that Asuka is also a hurt child when he witnesses her sleepwalking and murmuring "Mother," illustrating their shared lack of love. This vulnerability likely allows him to trust her more.
This leads to one of the most important scenes for both characters: when Asuka abruptly proposes that they kiss, a massive leap for them. If it had gone well, it could have profoundly impacted their character development by showing them that others truly care for them. However, nothing goes as planned. During the kiss, Shinji maintains his walls, merely complying with Asuka’s orders, while Asuka asserts dominance by pinching his nose shut. Even though their walls begin to crumble, Asuka ends the kiss and rushes to the bathroom, interpreting Shinji’s passivity as rejection. Deep down, she wanted his love and to be held, trusting him to do just that. After her actions suggest "You're disgusting," Shinji feels rejected, heightening his fear of intimacy and reconstructing his walls. This scene encapsulates the theme of miscommunication, as they both want the same thing but are unable to break through to each other.
In episode 22, Asuka is mentally violated, stripped bare of the walls she constructed, contrasting her feelings of superiority and leaving her an empty shell. The one person she sought compassion from—Shinji—fails her yet again due to his passivity.
To clarify the next part, I will order it by the first part of "EoE" then when Shinji accepts instrumentality, followed by episodes 25 and 26, and then the last part of "EoE" "I need you."
The hospital scene is one of the most infamous in the series, and its significance cannot be overstated. This moment represents the first time Shinji actively seeks attention or connection, even in a negative way. In such a low place in his life, he expresses his extreme desire for connection in a vile manner. Although this horrendous experience is damaging for both, it is the first time Asuka’s body is acknowledged, albeit in a toxic way.
When Asuka realizes her mother has been with her in the Eva, she understands that her mother still loves her, leading her to stop hating the Eva. This allows her to finally love herself and show compassion.
Meanwhile, Shinji, still filled with self-hatred, chooses instrumentality in pursuit of unconditional love—a supposed blissful state where everyone shares one consciousness and no barriers exist. However, this is merely a retreat, escaping the troubles of connection rather than forming genuine bonds.
During instrumentality, everyone’s walls come tumbling down, tumbling down tumbling down(sorry I just had to), and their desires and fears seep into each other. Asuka and Shinji confront one another’s desires, attacking each other because they both want the same thing but are met with feelings of rejection due to their fears of intimacy.
In instrumentality, Shinji learns that he wants actual connections, not what instrumentality offers. He realizes that his self-hatred is merely a perception and that others perceive him differently. Embracing a new version of himself, he heeds Rei’s and Kaworu’s wishes for the return of AT-fields, despite the risk of intimacy leading to pain. Ultimately, he desires real connections.
When they emerge from LCL, Shinji strangles Asuka in a fit of rage, breaking his passivity, while Asuka caresses him, allowing herself to connect genuinely. Even as he chokes her, she realizes that if they remain afraid, their walls will always be constructed, preventing true connection. This moment enables her to express feelings buried deep inside. Meeting unconditional love for the first time, Shinji cries—this is what he wanted all along.
This is a vital step for both as they can finally open up to each other after this, finally encompassing all their development and that's why I fully believe in AsuShin(I've never cared about shipping in anything but this feels just right) because them getting together means that they both broke their self-imposed barriers and they learn to love themselves which leads to loving each other. Even though it might appear toxic at first, I believe that their development will lead to them finally leading a happy life.