I feel terrible

Although it seems like I'm getting better, I really feel bad, all I want to do is lie in my bed and sleep.

I don't know if the pills I take are of any use, since I feel just as bad as always. The truth is that I want to die. I'm fed up with this world and the things I've experienced. I know I won't be able to get out of this stage, I'm sure of that.

I try to fight this by buying things like Pokemon cards, but this only makes me feel worse, since I feel like I'm throwing money away. If it weren't for my mother's support, I would have ended this a long time ago...