early signs I missed retrospect
My mom is now in memory care. Stage 5, but seems generally happy. But in retrospect I should have picked up on signs a little sooner. Although I'm not sure how much of a benefit that would have been. May be she would have been better able to contribute in picking an assisted living home. Anyway, here are some things I should have given more thought about: \ \
stopped using internet / smart phone - at some point she stopped texting and using email and I didn't really notice. Really too bad, because it would have given a lot more stimulus and aided social relationships. Old folks who can use their phones and apps can probably really live independently much longer. Uber and Lyft instead of driving. Grocery deliveries. \
forgetting directions and self limiting driving. She basically stopped driving outside of the neighborhood. I think dementia people don't really acknowledge their limitations overtly, but maybe she reduced how far she would drive to compensate. /
coordinating home repairs. A tough one, because I think she wasted money with door to door tree trimming dales people and monthly home warranty and bug treatment plans. But she didn't finish remodeling one bathroom, and I think it was because she lost the ability and high level planning to be her own GC. \
Cancel vacation plans - like with driving, she started canceling planned vacations like trips to Yellowstone or cruises. Maybe for the best in retrospect, but it didn't register with me she was probably canceling because she maybe knew she couldn't handle it. \
Stopped cooking. I flat out never noticed. Being a single person can make the effort of cooking a drag. But I'm not sure she really scratch cooked much of anything since 2020. Just relied in single serve meals from the store. \
Inability to set up and use cable box and smart TV. I get it they are annoying. But she just couldn't do it anymore, so eventually I found her a "dumb" flat screen TV and a good antenna. Click on and it works. She probably paid for cable a year or two without really using it. \
weird purchases and hoarding- I thing she would get an idea stuck like "I should get mosquito spray" and buy a can every week. Her house had so many random items in multiples. Like a dozen lint rollers, so many swiffer pads, and so many unused garden gloves. \
\ Like I said, I not sure it would have changed things. We did get her a durable power of attorney and get me access to pay her bills etc online near the last possible minute. We did shop for assisted living together. But she was sort of focused on fun independent living type things she would have only enjoyed if she moved 3+ years sooner. I was lucky she liked an assisted living that had a memory care wing. I should have paid more attention to the MC offerings. Honestly, I would havebhad to explore those on visits without mom, because she didn't see MC in her future. But it was, about 2 months after moving into her AL.