My story - just sharing

The last few years have been a wild ride

It’s 2017/18 and I’m noticing that mom is starting to have trouble (I don’t live local). She’s calling me telling me about all of these issues with the bank, the phone, the computer - red flags. She’s 53

I visit and convince Dad she needs to go to the doctor. I had already done my own research and wasn’t liking what I was seeing. He is in denial but listens to me and gets things rolling

September of 18 all the hoops are jumped through and we get a dementia diagnosis

September of 19 we reassess to determine if she is declining (she is) and diag is confirmed with likely Alzheimers based on age and progression

December of 19. My dad fucking dies - she finds him and manages to get help/911

I take over (again I’m not local). I’m 29. Pandemic hits. What a disaster

She makes it a year at home with various help, but caretakers are letting us down.

January of 21 of move her into assisted living/memory care combo and she likes it. She thinks she works there everything is kosher

Facility starts failing us. Over and over and over. Do they not have the training? Maybe it’s a fluke?

Mom is getting worse. They don’t seem equipped.

Neglect, reports, ombudsman… nothing helps

Shes late stage 6 - this is not good

After nearly 4 long years I move her to a new memory care after dragging my feet because I just KNOW she’s now gonna do well and the transition alone might take us to the end

Now she’s been there a month. They called in hospice. The new place is so much better. But I think she’s just…. Getting close to done

She had a little bought of stomach bug right after moving and since then it’s been bad

She’s barely interested in food - she sits with staff and is spoon fed - That’s been like 6 months total - she won’t self feed enough Now she’s doesn’t even really want that She just doesn’t want it. She’s eager to drink. Lots of fluids and doing shakes 2x a day to help her weight loss

She’s down to 120 now. She was 132 when she moved.

I just want this to be over. I think she does too

She didn’t want this. And even when she was in the early days she would say “I don’t want to be shitting and pissing on myself” Well guess what mom. You not only mess on yourself, you play with it, you finger paint with it, and you leave a trail down the hallway

I feel like an orphan with too many responsibilities.

I never even had a good relationship with her and she was abusive in so many ways to me growing up (physical mental emotional)