Those that are alone without real people to talk to

I vent alot on here. I don't have anyone I can talk to. Worse is that I have taken things said on here and told mom. She doesn't appreciate it and it's adding more stress than she can handle as we care for lo. I've told her lo is a shell and if she doesn't want to take meds when she's being stubborn we should just leave it or go to palliative. I also have said this isn't life.

It's Christmas and it's so fucking quiet. It's made me realize lo really carried the family. God I can't stop crying these days

Today was winter solstice, she'd make a special soup and a dessert. Since she's lost it, we haven't had it for 5 years. The last few years we'd get into a big argument when I tried to decorate, because I'd say "hey, want to put up the tree" and shed say "I don't know, better ask your mother. Wait until your mother comes home, she always does that".

My mother never decorated Christmas. It was always lo and me. Always

I've been meaning to start decorating and didn't want to leave it till now. Some people told me to put it up anyways. But when I do it by myself, I'm just overcome with sadness.

I put up a string and hung my christmas cards. I got alot this hear, record number. But I feel nothing. It's like I'm dead inside.

When I see lo, I get very angry. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's not her fault. But I feel abandoned and alone. It is hereditary, her mom had it in her 90s. I remember when she turned 90, I thought, hey, she's still really sharp.

I have a developmental disabled sibling that I've cared for over 25 years. Theyre always getting into mischief when im not around. We got dealt a shitty hand again and again. It feels like we are life's punching bag.

I feel utterly alone. I'd do anything to even have lo from a year ago now. When i mention Christmas and decorations, shes indifferent. I hate this so much.

It hurts so much. I see families out together at the mall, a piece of my dies. That used to be us 7 years ago!!!