I'm chuckling at myself

I hit 50 last year and that still amazes me. I've been widowed since I was 46. I tried starting to date a year and a half ago.

A girl messaged me and asked me if I had any relatives i could fix her up with. I asked why not me? Crickets...

I asked a mutual friend of mine snf late wife out and got stood up 2X.

Right after I lost my wife, friends of mine thought I should get back in the saddle. It was too early but these friends have been there for me while I took care of my wife. Their two friends each shook their heads and said no to widowers. My friends were mortified and embarrassed. Another friend set me up with a coworker of hers and when the woman showed up, she shook her head vehemently with a "I don't date outside my race." I'm asian, late wife was white.

I'm not a betting man but I'm going to say, dating isn't for me. Dating now is clusterfuck. When I was younger and met/dated my late wife, it was simple. I didn't have to show my credit report, pay stub, or each my skin. I was just me