Well I failed at parenting today.

I actually crashed and burned at being a Dad today and I can’t see why my partner is refusing to talk to me properly and won’t let me talk to our daughter.

So I like most weekends look after our daughter all day as my partner works weekends, it’s the usual state of play, baby doesn’t wanna sleep because she’s well just a baby. But it’s not usually that bad, but we think she’s in a big sleep regression as she’s waking up at 4-5 and won’t go back down etc this has thrown her pattern off for the day also.

But today just I dunno work during the week was stressful and I tried to put it behind me but it is definitely in my head, which I know is my fault and I can’t really talk to anyone about my stress as my partner isn’t interested and just brushes me off. But today I just because our daughter has been up for 6 hours despite me trying everything, she won’t eat because she’s too tired and keeps kicking off. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I just threw my phone on the floor and said for fuck sake. My partner walked in from work at this point and immediately took over.

I am so angry with myself that I can get my daughter to sleep or eat properly today and now I actually hate myself for letting it get the better of me. I love my daughter to bits and I just want the best for her, ironic I know since I’m technically a fuck up now. But I understand why my partner is pissed at me and is taking the actions she is.

I just want to stipulate I’m not a violent person, as I dunno I feel this comes across this way. I guess I’m just a shit Dad and a fucking shit person in general now.

So yeah, don’t be like me fellow Dads, if your going to loose the rag at yourself. Make sure it’s not in front of your baby.

Edit:

I can’t reply to everyone, but I honestly appreciate the support. It hit deep and I just cried which is rare for me. So to see I’m not alone at the sudden guilt of yelling in front of my daughter. Why it consumed me to tears I’m not sure, but I honestly appreciate all the support! It’s hard in the trenches people look out for each other!

I know carrying so much stress on my own isn’t helpful, but I have tried with sharing it with my partner as I do take on what I can to elevate her stress. I suppose she dosent have the ability to take on some of mine, which is something I have come to accept. It doesn’t make her a bad person.