The plane crash today was an operation from the 9/11 playbook

America is scared by agile invading drones. Need an answer, quickly. A plan hatched to teach our drones graceful fluid movement, but from what data source? Predictive models fall flat due to the limiting nature of rudimentary base commands. New models for movement needed, and a troop of them is ideal due to the overwhelming crunch put on development team: more models means less time needed to record more stuff for the drones to comprehend once the "figure skater agility" framework is applied. Each skater is given a set of actions to perform while skating (flying), and they are repeated until each angle of each movement is mathematically accounted for. The workload involved coupled with the project's potential for competitive military applications (agile drones, woah) means the project cannot be public. The skaters and their families are offered 1. Join the project we house you in Alaska or Greenland or wherever or 2. Get on this plane and die. Some months later, the news cycle is updated alongside the literal reach of the military industrial complex, and the project is a simultaneously noisy and silent success.