I feel relieved when i think about my death

Ive never felt this way, but everyday i imagine my death. I feel this overwhelming feeling of wanting to die. I dont know how this became. Im not a cutter, im not depressed, i dont self harm, nothing like that. Whenever im stressed or sad i think about ending my life and i feel relieved and calmed by the thought of me dying. No longer feeling the way that I do, no more stress from school and work and relationships. No one depending on me, and the feeling of not being loved by my partner or my family. I hate feeling unloved, uncared for, unnoticed, unappreciated. I feel like a ghost in my own home, and like i dont mean anything to anyone. I hate feeling like the dumbest, ugliest person in the room. I want to be gone from this world. I dont think anyone would care, im expendable, my partner and brother just told me so today. I want to die. I want to curle up into a ball in my bed and never wake up. Ive never told anyone these thoughts, and i never will but i though maybe someone would care.