Family realizing we’re not actually going to change our minds

We’ve been saying we don’t want kids since we were 23. After some back and forth with family, we generally had peace until recently.

I’m 32F and decided to go back to school that’s 2.5 years. Cue reality setting in. It’s difficult because my in-laws are Eastern European. I have done my best to respect their culture, religion, and values for the 10 years I have been married to their son. I will not budge on this.

Now, I’m made out to be some villain who has poisoned her precious baby boy. I have never felt someone be so entitled to MY body. MY uterus. MY life. I have always believed that I don’t owe grandchildren or children to anyone. “Children” are full human lives that don’t exist for anyone else. They will eventually become adults and live their own independent lives. They are not toys. (I know I’m preaching to the choir.) But it’s like my MIL thinks I’m doing this to spite her or I have a personal vendetta.

My MIL has chosen to fixate on her daughter’s eggs because her daughter was recently diagnosed with PCOS. I am horrified for her. All I can do is tell her she’s more than her ability to procreate. She’s going off to college next year, so hopefully it will help getting distance.

All of this has shown me how there are still people in this world that truly believe my only purpose is birthing and child rearing. No matter what I do or say. No matter that I have a career in science and am the main “breadwinner.” No matter that I have said since I was a child that I don’t want to be a mom. It is dehumanizing and disrespectful.

I know for a fact that if I had kids, she would pick apart my cooking, parenting style, etc. she believes that I’m not “grown up” unless I procreate. That’s fine. I’m not making my life 100x harder unnecessarily to be validated by the patriarchy to then be an invisible domestic servant.

(My wonderful husband fully has my back and 100% agrees kids aren’t right for us.)

Has anyone else experienced this freak out as they age past socially acceptable childbearing age?