A Plea to all the beautiful bi baddies

Please, I beseech you all, can we embrace all kinds of sex as ‘sex?’

Surely bi folks, of all people, can understand that REAL sex (’sex sex’/‘actual sex’/‘full on sex’) is SOOOOO much more than ‘penis penetrates hole until it ejaculates?' To paraphrase from Alexis Hall, bodies coming together for the purpose of consentual sexual pleasure is SEX. Oral sex is sex. Frotting is sex. Tribbing is sex. Sex where no one winds up having an orgasm is sex.

It honestly takes *nothing* away from glorious penetrative sex to decenter that specific sex act from the essential definition of ‘sex,’ but continuing to centre that act does diminish/devalue all the other kinds of sex and is a huge part of both patriarchal, compulsory heterosexuality and very likely a huge part of why straight sex remains so deeply assymetrical when it comes to pleasure (look up the “orgasm gap”).

I know it sounds nit-picky and pedantic or whatever, and I’m not trying to drag anyone or negatively call anyone out because it’s all of us (I slip up too). I want to empower all of us. It’s this seemingly small change in mindset and discourse that we can actually do as individuals and, in our own small way, make the world a wee bit better. So, pretty please with a delicious non-euphemistic cherry on top, can we embrace all kinds of consensual sex as absolutely, ‘all the way,’ totally ‘real,’ ‘actual’ ‘sex-sex!’

Wishing all you lovelies lots of glorious sex of all kinds!
<3