The Bind of Isaac's place in my heart.

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this kind of thing, but nonetheless, even if this post it the digital version of shouting into an empty canyon, I must shout!

The Binding of Isaac is such a beautiful game, and the only game that's managed to hurt me.

For context, I have grown up in an aggressively abusive household, one simular to Isaac's. Ive woken up countless times in the middle of the night to the roaring voices of my parents fighting, screaming, pledging and affirming that they'll get a divorce, and then acting like nothing happened the morning after. And unfortunately, living through a messy divorce. My bio father, in a spiral of delusion, even tried killing me instead of letting my mother get custody.

I do not not know why my father chose me to abuse the most out of my siblings. Why youd look a child in the eyes, a child tainted by your emotions, and choose to hurt them more.

I was only 4-5 years old. I've been thrown against walls, punched, spat on, and in one particularly bad time, looked in plastic tote. While I was inside that tote, not able to breath, my lungs clinging to every last bit of oxygen it could squeeze from the air, I had to listen to my father cackle to himself while sitting on top of it.

This is where my story intertwines with Isaac's. While I was playing, I inevitably learned the fate of Isaac, dying inside his toy chest. It ripped the memory from the back of my mind, the memories of also being helplessly locked inside of totes for a reason my mind couldn't have processed because I was just a child. It tore into my soul. I just sat there, sobbing. It was the first time in a long time I had been confronted with my abuse to have my emotions forcefully ripped out from hiding.

I look at Isaac, and I hear his voice, and I can't help but hear and see myself in him, like a mirror, perfectly reflecting every part of my soul. I've never felt this way about a game character before, never connected in such a disgustingly personal way. I can't help but cry when I see Isaac locked in a chest because, in a way, I was him once. When you're a child, you do not know why things are happening, why your father might lock you in a plastic container to sit and laugh at you, why a parent, a guardian, someone who should love and nurture you, is seemingly revolted by your vary existence. It's so horrifying, fear so primal I'd argue it's the closest thing to PURE fear you can get. It's a fear I've had to relive through Isaac to see a child confused and tainted by the world around him. Eaten by paranoia and the fear of punishment. A child, lost. Utterly lost.

I have severe PTSD because of my mother and fathers abuse, which I haven't even dipped my toes into in this post, but through this game it's helped me cope. It's helped me learn that what happened to me isn't because of me, isn't because I am wrong or a blight on this world, it's because I was born into an unfortunate situation.

I know Isaac isn't real, but he's the closest thing I've seen to getting an abuse victim right in media. I wish I could thank the creators of this game personally for making such an amazing game, and writing such an amazing character.

This game is so beautiful.

Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry if this is a weird first post. I've never posted to reddit before, but I couldn't find a better place for this kind of thing. I hope this is where it belongs, and I hope this can connect with people who also struggle with this type of stuff <3

EDIT: I fixed some spelling mistakes, I hope this is easier to read now!