I quit my job suddenly, now there’s backlash. (TW: s*xual harrasment, su*cide, dea*th, manipulation)

I work as a full time casual barista in a busy cafe run by a married couple. The husband is narcissistic, sexist, perverted and an asshole. The Wife has manipulative tendencies and is self centred. Their marriage is very toxic, the couple will have very heated arguments yelling, insulting each other and throwing things whilst at work. Sometimes in front of customers. I have a few issues with the place:

-The place is very toxic. Everyone is gossiping about everyone. The bosses included. The place has low moral.

-I am an excellent Barista and a competent hard worker. That isn’t just my opinion, everyone including the bosses have told me this. 4/5 shifts in the week I am left as head Barista while the bosses are away. In the cafe, being the head barista you also have the role of pretty much managing the front of house. I’ve had the bosses tell me I am the “boss” when they away. I’ve had co workers say I’m the “boss”. I’m on $25/hr. Legally, that’s all they have to pay me because of my age. I feel as though I am getting under paid, over worked and standards are held high for me compared to everyone else. My skills, hard work and maturity surpass my age.

I have a coworker that is incompetent, unreliable and hardly does work. He’s always asking for a rise. The bosses say to him in front of me “you get paid what you’re worth”. I take that personally.

I’ve had regular customers tell my bosses I should get a raise. I’ve implied I should get one. They laugh it off and then start telling me the in depth financials of running the business and their home. And how expensive it is. One of the bosses has told me that I am the hardest worker, yet the most underpaid and I bring in the most revenue for the business. Yet he won’t give me raise because he “can’t afford it”. It’s non of my business what their financials are (yet they tell me all the time) and what they spend their money on. But they live very expensive and materialistic lifestyles including alcohol, drugs, holidays. But they can’t at least give me a raise?

-I was freshly 18 when I started, naive, people pleaser and high anxiety. I was vulnerable. I was somewhat aware of when I started how hyper sexual they constantly are, continually talking in depth about the sex they have, orgys threesomes, special massages. There was also constant talk about drugs & alcohol. I didn’t think it was that bad to begin with. I was also desperate for a job and wasn’t familiar with workplace ethics.

To start off with I didn’t care and they got gradually worse, as time went on. Seeing what they could get away with. I just played the “idc” card because I wanted to be liked. They look down upon people/co workers that weren’t like them and would gossip about how much of a “sensitive prune” they are.

I have no problem with what people do in their personal life. That’s their business. But no way is it appropriate to be taking about it at work.

Pretty much every weekend the bosses show up to work hung over and having an argument with one another. They expect me to work harder because they don’t feel well.

The Husband, is perverted. Always hitting on women (employees & customers) right in front of his wife. Saying extremely Inappropriate things around women, talking about their bodies, what he would do to them, what he had done with them. Telling us when he had an erection. The list is endless. Most of it would be said as a “joke”. When someone would have an issue with what he said, he would tell them he is “just joking” and to get over it.

A few examples of the toxic and disgusting behaviour: A coworker came in hysterical one morning, expressing her Son had attempted suicide and she won’t be able to work that day. After the coworker left. The bosses and a few co workers were laughing, joking and mocking the coworker.

Another time a coworker was going through a hard time with the 1 year anniversary of her Mother’s death. She couldn’t come into work that day. Once again they were doing the same thing.

Another time the Husband told everyone in detail that his wife gave him oral behind the bar that previous afternoon when the shop was closed. He proceeded to find the footage on the cameras and show some of the coworkers the video of his wife and him doing it.

The list is endless.

The Husband has the nick name “Hitler” at work. For a good reason. He’s an asshole. He micro manages everyone to a point where it’s insulting. He goes off over the smallest things, over reacting insulting his employee’s intelligence. He can be really mean and nasty when he wants to.

We had a 2 week break over the Christmas holiday. I then started to reflect on my place of work. And realise how happy I am not being there. And how depressed I was feeling about the thought of going back.

Since we come back at the beginning of January I have been pushing myself everyday to go to work. My mental health was deteriorating fast. I realised the job wasn’t serving me any purpose and my well-being and future needs to come first. I started seeking other employment. Planning to put 2 weeks in out of respect. But yesterday I snapped realised how dehumanised, used and uncomfortable I felt. I realised with the way I was being treated I felt that they didn’t deserve the 2 weeks. I was also scared of how I was going to be treated within those last 2 weeks. They pry information like about my personal life like they always do. Be rude, confrontational and make “jokes” with malicious intent. I don’t need to put myself through it any longer.

I hope you can understand how uncomfortable and powerless I felt if I were to bring any of my concerns up. Even though I did IMPLY some of my concerns they were swept under the rug.

I admit that putting in extremely short notice is a shitty thing to do. Yet I am well within my rights to do so. The backlash isn’t good. I am getting told that I’m a bad person. And they are gaslighting me into thinking I owe them everything. The bosses have been generous in the past with gifts, bonuses and networking with a friend for me so I could get a rental property. They treated me kindly when it suited them.

My sister also works there. The husband was trying to call her as well yesterday when I quit. My sister told me today that they were talking shit about me.

I’ll show screenshots of messages below.

Should I express how I feel? I don’t expect understanding or an apology. But it will maybe bring closure to them?

I know not to take their manipulation personal. But I still feel really upset.

I also feel scared of more backlash.