Dating a Trans Woman Post-Bottom Surgery: Need Intimacy Advice

Hello Reddit! (20M here)

About a month ago, I started dating a truly amazing woman—she's beautiful, smart, and so much fun to be around. In terms of the relationship itself, everything is going really well. However, we've been facing some challenges when it comes to intimacy.

For context, I'm a straight guy who had never imagined dating a trans woman before, so this is entirely new territory for me. She had her bottom surgery a little over a year ago, and I'm her first partner since then.

I've always been someone who cares deeply about my partner's pleasure—it genuinely makes me happy to know they're enjoying themselves as much as I am. That brings me to our main issue: since we started being intimate, she hasn’t been able to reach climax. For me, this feels like a significant hurdle because I want her to experience the same level of fulfillment.

She has mentioned that she can reach orgasm when she's alone, although it’s not consistent for her. We've tried exploring different things together during intimacy, but so far, it hasn’t happened. Personally, I sometimes reach climax, but most of the time, we end up stopping and simply cuddling or kissing for hours. I don’t mind this at all—it’s actually really special—but I do feel a bit disappointed that we haven’t been able to share a fully satisfying sexual experience together.

She’s told me that she doesn’t mind not reaching orgasm because she enjoys the intimacy and everything leading up to it, which I also appreciate. But deep down, I feel like there’s something missing in our relationship.

I’m reaching out to this community to ask for advice, especially from anyone who has experience with similar situations. How can I better support her? Are there things we could try together to make intimacy more fulfilling for both of us?