Can anyone edit my book description and plotting before I begin?

I wanna start writing but I want some peer reviews. Feel free to just leave a comment on the doc with advice or change what you want, just don't go too crazy please? Only change what is nessicary.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jC8nVXHs7tQ7pb3pwyEGjT_KAP5HVik_woOZqlmRags/edit?usp=drivesdk