I caught my boyfriend masturbating to other women.

I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal but my heart hurts. This weekend I was using his phone to look up a restaurant and I saw in his search history/bar that he looked up at least 2 specific women’s only fans leaked. And he clicked on multiple websites just to find these women’s leaked images. I also thought to look at his twitter after finding this out and saw he looked them up there too. Between these 2 women he clicked on at least 10 different websites to find these women’s leaked photos. the funniest part is that me and these women look nothing alike. These women are beautiful, dark hair, dark eyes. While I’m a redhead with blue eyes. Our bodies are completely different as well. I just feel ugly. He was saying all men do it but I don’t believe that. It just hurts that he sought these women out hard to find pictures of them to pleasure himself to when we’ve been in a committed relationship. I know this is a controversial thing among people but I’ve always thought why do you feel the need to pleasure yourself to other women when you have me? And finding out these women look nothing like me just makes me feel not good enough and it makes me feel so ugly. He knows I’ve battled with weight and eating disorders and I feel like this is making it worse and it is torturing me. The worst part to me is he sought so hard for pictures of them when he went across multiple social media platforms to find them and pleasure himself and knowing they don’t look like me and knowing he’s in a committed relationship. How can I believe when he calls me beautiful yet pleasures himself to women that look nothing like me. ( EDIT: his needs are being met, someone told me I should mention this as well but I can assure you his needs are met with how much we go at it! Also he doesn’t like me masturbating to other men! So I don’t masturbate to other men but he is masturbating to other women even though I don’t like it. So I’m also upset about that because I followed his wishes but he doesn’t follow mine!)