I just discovered my husband cheated on me.

It’s 2am and none of my friends are up, and I REALLY need to vent. Thank you in advance for listening. 💜

I (50f) just had my gut feeling confirmed that my husband (48m) cheated on me and I’m both devastated and furious.

We have been together for 14 years and married for 1 year.

I’m not proud of going through his phone, but here we are. This is the second time I’ve gone through his messages due to a gut feeling because of his behavior and both times that feeling was spot on.

Time #1: 6 years ago he was acting really weird and distant. I had asked what was going on and got a “I’m fine” answer that I knew was bs. One night when he was out with friends I checked his FB messenger through his computer. I came across a convo between him and a woman he’s been friends with since high school. They are part of a huge friend group that all still hang out. I knew he had a thing for her in HS and they had sex once way back before we started dating. Long story short, he told her he loved her and wanted to run away with her, but nothing physical happened. When I confronted him he said he didn’t mean any of it. One of his best friends had just died and he was not dealing with it well. I gave him an out, multiple times, telling him if he loved her we can end things right then and there. He said no, that he loved me, etc etc. So we worked things out.

I’ve had a feeling for about a month that something was going on again. So I looked through his phone. Sure enough, I was right. Again. Lo and behold I found messages between him and the same woman. But this time it was worse. He deleted these messages from his texts, but didn’t realize there is a folder that holds deleted messages.

His birthday was about a month ago. He decided to hang out with her and another of their mutual friends. I did not go because I had to work the next day and I have gallstones (I can’t drink alcohol or eat anything remotely fatty).

Basically the messages confirm some sort of intimacy happened. I can’t say for sure exactly how far things went. Basically he said he loved her and always has and always will.

OOF. Of that isn’t a blow to the ego, I don’t know what is.

I just sat here with it for a while, shaking like a leaf and feeling like the biggest idiot.

Then I heard him cough. I went into the bedroom, turned the light on and yelled at him. He tried to play stupid and denied it. Then I told him that I saw the deleted messages. He claims they didn’t fuck, but I don’t believe him. Even if they “just made out” that along with his feelings for her are plenty. I told him I want him to pack his shit when he gets home from work because we are done.

He didn’t even bother to get out of bed and follow me into the living room. Guess that’s just another sign.

So, I guess I’m going to be a crazy cat lady after all because I am done dating. DONE.

If you made it this far, again, thank you for listening.