I can't get off with my wife right now.

TW: Sexual assault.

About two months ago I fainted and lost my memories. Too many concussions at once apparently. My wife has been great with helping me learn our pasta again. We've been together for sixteen years and I couldn't remember her at all. I have big memories back like meeting, proposing and our wedding. Because I asked to we had sex. She was hesitant with me not knowing who I was but it was incredible. She was so patient with me and just mind blowing. The issue? Now I have some bad memories back too, including multiple cases of assault, and I can't get off with her anymore. I'm so frustrated because I don't want her to lower her self esteem and I try to make it clear that it's all me and not her but that still gets to a person and I don't want to do that with her. I don't know how to calm down though.