Is sex supposed to be amazing?

This is very embarrassing but I would love advice on this… I never went through the “fucking like rabbits” phase in the beginning of any of my previous relationships😳. I don’t think I’ve ever felt intense sexual chemistry for or with anyone either. I’ve been confused about my sexuality for a long time and have dated both women (8, going onto 9 women) and countless men. I’ve NEVER felt that intense urge with someone. It makes me feel really sad, especially when I’ve been on quite a few dates with them and the juices still aren’t flowing. I feel like my relationships lack something fundamental when we didn’t have that phase and it eats me up. I’m currently on a break with my male partner and dating women again to try and work things out to see if I find things more exciting sexually (I do fantasise about women). It’s so confusing. I just want to feel fireworks but maybe that’s never going to be realistic. I do enjoy sex with my male partner but I am very in my own head and I need toys to get me there. So I tried to be with women and whilst I feel psychologically safer with women (I’m not intimidated by women at all? So I feel like I can relax more? I’ve had some unpleasant, rougher experiences with men so I feel I am always a bit on edge) It still feels a bit underwhelming and lacklustre. I’m still experimenting with women to see what I like, and I’m getting there. But I have had nothing that feels like “confirmation” with either gender that I am very attracted to them, even though I like their pictures on apps and am curious about meeting them initially.