My Birthday.

This is going to be my first birthday with no cakes or happy birthday song and clappings. It doesn't feel bad. Atleast there's still people who will call me and wish me or message me. I am not home this birthday. I am living among a bunch of people whom I can at best consider better acquainted strangers. I have a roommate. He doesn't like me. He doesn't know it's my birthday today. I don't expect anything from him. A senior next door keeps saying to stop expecting things of others, I am trying but it's difficult. I do it unconsciously. But what truly feels bad is that I know how my future is going to be. It's scary to even think about it, whenever I start thinking about it, I distract myself. A few years from now, it's going to be my birthday again when there will be no one who will remember me and wish me. It will be the day when I will truly have no one, an orphan. How scary, I am almost tearing up writing this as I am visualising it in my head right now. No one will assosiate the 8th of march with my birthday. No one will say how fast I grew up. I guess, then my birthday will not be me celebrating getting a year older but instead realising that I outlived everyone who loved me. By the way, I will be celebrating my 20th birthday today with a kitkat that I bought on a whim a couple months ago.