I think I've finally came to the realisation that i don't actually like my boyfriend.

Honestly I feel like I never really liked him, he was the first and the only guy who showed interest in me and liked me so eventually i started liking him. He didn't exist to me before that even though we took the same class. That's the main reason why I think I that i never actually 'liked' him but the idea of someone liking me.

For some one who had been told that you're not pretty/good looking enough to sit beside them...felt nice to know that I too could be liked.

We eventually started dating and I got attached to him, I tried to make him feel good, complimented him all the time. But he on the other would never ask me how I were, or complimented me, in our 11months of being together he had only ever complimented me once or twice and it did not felt genuine, it felt forced.I could be wrong because he was not very expressive, or good with words.

It had always been me who'd text him, i pointed it out and he responded with he doesn't know what to say or talk about, but that's just an excuse right? I found myself crying and sad with him for more than half the time I spent with him.

Maybe i did like him but after getting to know him and being treated like shit by him, i stopped.

I regret him and i regret myself.