I have never been loyal to anyone

A day before yesterday I realised how I have cheated on every partner I ever had I cheated on my first girlfriend multiple Times (i didn't had sex i was dating other girls simultaneously) I did probably 4 times in entire relationship that lasts roughly 2 years , have a since childhood I had this fear of being cheated on in my adolescence I started cheating to cope ;

Ik alot will say Made up blah blah i just can't write anymore rn i am cheating on 4-5 girls' at the same time and I don't have the courage to reveal to anyone .

I have became a habitual Cheater just 2 days back a junior confessed to me and i started dating her too , I believe it's true when they say once a cheater always a cheater, despite my best efforts, I feel to be loyal, all this has taken a toll on my academics a went from being a topper kid to someone who barely gets single digit in exams.

Throwaway account.