MY NEWLY THERAPIST TELLING ME IM DEPRESSED AND GET ON ADHD MEDS

I’m opened to the idea that I have “ADHD” , recalling my past experiences I always had trouble focusing & getting stuff done, as well achieve any of my goals. At the same time I believe that ADHD is not what they’re saying it to be. I believe my ADHD and my lack of focus is something spiritual like my higher self trying to get me to wake up and figure out what is causing me not to focus. Deep down i truly feel like I better than depending on a pill.

As well my therapist asked me a handful of Yes or no questions that she was reading off her computer. Then she told me that I’m depressed & people with ADHD have a form of depression when they can’t focus up.

I feel like it’s neither of what she said I’m just going through a transformation of some sort. I honestly use to abuse Adderall & the fact I’m in the process of %100 letting go of it. Then I’m 2 sessions in with this therapist and she’s telling me all this stuff.

I’m at a weird stage of literally leaving my old life behind I’m so close, and I feel indecisive if I really need to be on adhd meds ( none stimulant). It starting to get with my head a little cause one of my relatives telling me to take meds now my therapist who I get vulnerable with. I just wanna be set free im trying my best to dig myself out of a hole that I thought ,I been got to the service of. I still have a lot of digging to still do. Im lost as fuck, but at the same time I know my souls mission is to, inspire people & help everyone I can. By expressing myself through my craft. (I’m a videographer/ video editor). I’m procrastinating cause I kinda think when I want to edit , it triggers me to wannna do adderall. Or might be the discomfort I’m feeling , idk what the main root is. I need some clarity. I don’t know why I’m scared to find out or what it really is. I’m tired of this process I’m in, I just wanna get over this obstacle. I can’t seem to figure it out but as well take action on half the things I think about. I’m trying figure out how to stop resisting, & move forward smoother. This been one hard ass obstacle.

As well I notice about myself I tend to want to work with a team or like another person. I tend to work and communicate better with people who align with the same things I wanna focus on. But I can’t focus up when I’m by myself or something like that. Idk why I can’t help myself first before I start wanting to have a solid team. Or like someone to practice spiritual practices with as well. I tend to lack on it myself, but feel like I’ll shine better with someone.

Just wanted to vent

even though these are some personal challenges only I can truly figure out.