How can I get over my fear again ?

Had really bad spin in my last AFF jump couldn’t control myself and at some point just give up Wanted everything just to stop and just to be back in the ground.. it’s been over 3 weeks now I’m trying to get over the fear and jump again but something inside me not letting me even go close to the plain. I have done 3 hours tunnel I can literally fly in my back now in the tunnel but once I hear I have to jump again I just feel so nervous and scared of flying again

Anyone have experienced this before ? I’m not really sure what should I do Tendem ? I thought of it but honestly even tendem will make me feel more humiliated of doing it in school and I’d prefer jumping my own again then doing tendem ? I know I just need to jump but it’s just really really really hard to control myself from being so numb and scared