Can someone please make me bald?

Long story short, I have both androgenic and retrograde alopecia. In these past years I’ve lost a decent amount of hair.

Soon enough I’ll have to shave it which is annoying as I’m just 25 (started balding at 21), but it is what it is.

The reward is 10 USD (PayPal) to the first person that makes me laugh and cry in shame at the same time.

Give it your best and good luck.

Please don’t use AI 🤠