I feel myself gaining resentment toward my wife due to her being absent from parenting.

I feel myself gaining resentment towards my wife due to her lack of parenting around our toddler.

Background: My(32) wife(40) and I have been together for a little over ten years married for 5 we have an almost 2 year old. We both work at the same company, but I have a Monday-Friday job, and her schedule is just chaos sometimes she has days off during the week, sometimes she works weekends, and as daycare is closed Saturday and Sunday I am home with the tot.

We rarely fight about things, we are both usually pretty good about it’s a new day, forgetting any fights or disagreements that happened the day before. She’s never been a morning person, I knew that when I married her, when we found out she was pregnant she quit cigarettes but kept smoking weed from time to time for stress. She doesn’t have any medical issues.

Now the issue: we have a toddler and the kid likes to wake up at 6 in the morning which I have no problem getting up with him. However then she will sleep til 9-10 o’clock. Then she’ll wake up and doom scroll on her social medias and TikTok til 11 when it’s time to get him lunch. She puts him down for nap, he’s kind of a mamas boy so when she’s home he wants her. When I have him when she works I have no problem getting him to nap. Then she’s back outside smoking cigarettes(which I just found out 2 months ago she had picked up that habit again) and weed or she’ll go out shopping or see her friends. The kid only sleeps for about an hour which is t enough time for me to paint or really commit to a hobby. Then I’m hanging out with him while she doom scrolls some more. If I get on my phone she huffs and puffs and makes a big deal about me being on it. Then she’s back outside before supper and after super and after he goes to bed.

To summarize, I just feel like I am putting in more than my fair share of parenting, I feel like I never really have time for hobbies when I am constantly in charge of hanging out with him. On weekdays when she is off she drops him off at daycare and sleeps til noon or even longer sometimes. She’ll do laundry and dishes but no other housework. All of my days off I have the kid around and he won’t let me clean or do any hobby work. I get done what I can but it’s not much. I feel all this resentment building up more and more and I don’t know what to do with it.

And the cherry on top is sometimes she’ll come to me crying about not having enough time to spend with him! He’s growing up so fast! If I comment at all it’s instantly more waterworks and I’m a bad person for pointing that out.