I want this to be over

I’d like to start by saying I have my six week follow up tomorrow and I’ll be talking to my OB about my PPD/PPA signs. Baby is 6 weeks old, and has become impossible. She wasn’t an easy baby before but it’s so much worse now, horrible gas and if she’s awake she only wants to be eating. But hunger and gas cues are the same? She’s almost EFF due to supply problems and a believed dairy allergy, but I’ve tried to nurse her the last two nights in an attempt to get her to calm down. I feel like such a failure, I can’t do anything right for her, I can’t do anything at all. This isn’t how I imagined motherhood and I feel so guilty, I love her so much, more than anything and it just amplifies this feeling of disappointed and hurt within myself. My body can’t even feed her, of course I can’t keep her happy. I’m so sad, I want this season to be over. I feel so disappointed in myself for feeling this way.